three hundred seventy (370)

Your Age: 51 +

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: It started 8 months ago. I was sensing something was off for a while. Last week he asked me if I was happy. That lead to my asking a lot of questions and finally got him to confess.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Betrayed, stupid, sad. My self esteem has taken a big hit. I'm exhausted, I can't think, I just want the pain to go away.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I can't sleep. And when I do sleep, it's the first thing I think about. I can't do anything and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:Nothing yet. I'm trying to quiet my mind but I can't

What are your next steps?: Couples therapy. I don't know what else to do

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?:

three hundred sixty nine (369)

Title: My man betrayed me with my sister

Your Story: My name is girl for this writing I have a relationship with my fiance and now it's hard for me to trust him because he betrayed me by sleeping with my sister from that day I refuse by heart to ever trust him in my life and the thing is I love him very much and now is hatred and love mixed together which cause anger and now I always fight him and I don't want this to happen anymore I wanna move on with him but I don't know how

three hundred sixty eight (368)

Your Age: 21-30

Length of Relationship : 3 - 5 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: I found text messages on his phone, he denied it. Then I remembered he probably didn’t delete it from his pc and thats where i saw the messages

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I felt like my world collapsed, he was the person I trusted the most in this world and he betrayed me, for nothing but 3 photos and a few meaningless conversations yet here i am feeling broken, angry, betrayed, hurt, lost, shocked, REPLACED…

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: We where maybe not as close as we used to be

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:Trying to talk about it with a stranger.. and just trying to get the full truth. No not yet.

What are your next steps?: Trying to figure out what i want.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Strong, Replaced, Betrayed, Invisible

What emotions are missing from the list?: Lost

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Just push through because this shit sucks but lets hope it gets better…

What else would you like to share?:

three hundred sixty seven (367)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months

How did you learn about it?: The other women sent me a letter as she wanted him full time, then wanted to share him as i said no. She became obsessed and stalked me. Making it worse, kept telling me how broken she was.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I was in absolute shock. Its changed everything, i doubt the past, present and future. I hate how i have to make decisions im forced to make. Its hard seeing my children so broken.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Can't sleep, didn't eat really for weeks, now comfort eat.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: It varies every second, i wish i could feel nothing at all. I feel like i never mattered, so struggling to keep going. Nothing helps

What are your next steps?: We have kids,financial ties ets so i have to try. He did it before when we were 7 years together, we're 15 years in now.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?: Happyness because thats gone

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: If you can leave, do it. Follow your own mind.

What else would you like to share?: That i feel im living a nightmare loop.

three hundred sixty six (366)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months

How did you learn about it?: She left me,and when confronted admitted to seeing someone else.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Broken,ashamed,self blame,abused,betrayed.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Lost 10 kg in first 4 weeks eating less and always tired but not getting rest

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:Religion,faith. Helps alot but i struggle to focus at work.

What are your next steps?: Keep praying and building my faith.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: None

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Try to stay strong and take it one day at a time.

What else would you like to share?: Have 3 kids who she left behind with me so thus gives me some comfort but also makes it difficult because i have to cope with my emotions and still be strong for them.

three hundred sixty five (365)

Your Age: 51 +

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)

How did you learn about it?: My spouse told me he lost his jobs d was cheating on me.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Devastated! At first felt like I had been hit by a train. Now I’m dealing with depressions and having a hard time looking at my spouse without seeing the r cheaters.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I can get it out of my head! Some nights I came get to sleep because of it.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I exercise, go to therapy, cry!!!!

What are your next steps?: I don’t know!!!

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Strong, Voiceless, Devalued, Invisible, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Try to take care of yourself

What else would you like to share?:

three hundred sixty four (364)

Your Age: 51 +

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: I learned about his first emotional affair from my son. The second physical and emotional affair I suspected during our separation. Then confirmed when he moved in with her before he filed the divorce papers.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:When I learned it was (a mutual acquaintance known for sleeping with married men), I physically got sick to my stomach, light headed and felt my heart shatter with pain. He was my best friend and I was so taken by surprise. He lied right up until the day he finally decided he wanted the divorce. He rejected me sexually for 15 years prior to this which I thought would change when he got a different less physical job. However after that he had ED and said he didn’t want to take any pills because they were bad for his heart. However after he moved out zi found where he got pills which he said were for us. But he never used them for me at all. He got them for her. To this day he denies having an affair during our marriage. He said the entire time of our separation that he just didn’t feel listened to anymore and he was going through anxiety due to a head injury he got from an accident in his job. Then after the divorce was final, he told our kids all these lies about our marriage and said that he just couldn’t deal with such a terrible marriage anymore. He said I was controlling and didn’t all HIS money. He always came first in our marriage. He got whatever he wanted. His unhappiness started when I went ahead and built a small cabin on our lake property and he didn’t want me too. After that is when he started looking for other women to talk to. He planned out his departure down to paying off all the things he wanted in the divorce. This was a man that zi thought loved me for 40 years but I now know he was faking it for at least the last 20 years of our marriage. I gave him my heart and soul and he threw it all away.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I pretty much work and sleep. All the things I love we did together and they now bring back memories which I thought were happy ones but they were all lies. I am struggling to find hobbies that don’t involve past memories of us.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I see a counselor once a week. I am on anti-depressants. I live in a low populated area so there are no support groups. I am struggling to let go. We have an adult son and daughter in law with 3 young boys and a daughter and son in law. He lies to them about why he left blaming it all on me never taking any responsibility for how he treated me. I can’t keep my emotions and opinions to myself when I am around them so as of today I have decided to remove myself from their lives because I just hurt them more. Which is exactly what my Ex wants. He wants to bring his new girlfriend around them.

What are your next steps?: I don’t have know what is my future. I feel very ugly. I went through breast cancer 8 years ago and had a double mastectomy.I had implants but due to having to remove so much tissue I have no nipples so I feel like I am scarred physically and emotionally not to mention being rejected by him for 15 years. He never told me I was pretty or showed me any affection in all those years. I feel numb and like I have no purpose anymore. I dint know how to even start building my own life again. My income is limited and because of using most of my annual and sick leave for cancer, I don’t have the ability to extended vacations.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: Rejection, failure, regret, guilt related to letting my kids down, never good enough

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I have no advice really other than stand up for your desires and needs early in your marriage because you find out the true character of your husband then.

What else would you like to share?: I have since learned that my Ex is most likely a covert narcissist because of his behaviors and how treated me throughout my marriage. I was so in love and so dedicated to him. I had no clue. I need help on how to unlove who I thought he was, forgive him, and make my life happy again. And to build my relationships with my kids without bad mouthing him.

three hundred sixty three (363)

Your Age: 51 +

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: Cruelty, dishonest, disrespect

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Betrayed, devastated, heart breaking, value less. Loose trust and disrespect.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: No appetite, stressed

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I'm on medication

What are your next steps?: Try to heal

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible

What emotions are missing from the list?: Heart breaking

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I'm still in pain, to all cheaters please think before you find yourself in this situation.

What else would you like to share?: My husband whom I stayed 25 years in this marriage but he decided to cheated me with the lady in the same church.

three hundred sixty two (362)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months

How did you learn about it?: Began noticing red flags in his behavior and caught him trying to hide his text messages. I checked his phone and discovered he was having an affair with a older female coworker.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Incredibly angry, sick to my stomach, and like I wasn’t good enough.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: They changed at first for a while, I couldn’t sleep well, and had recurring nightmares and thoughts of suicide.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I have just went into survival mode. I feel like I’m just existing sometimes without a purpose, and nothing really helps.

What are your next steps?: Reconciliation. It failed about 3 weeks post discovery and they continued their affair. I was made aware at that time by my mother in law and I attempted to leave him. I was verbally attacked and threatened by my mother in law who blamed me for his actions.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?: Disgust

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?:

three hundred sixty one (361)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)

How did you learn about it?: He started acting differently and not himself. He ignored me and was critical of me. He got a text message on his phone with me sitting right next to him. He denied there was ever a text message and told me I was imagining things. I also found a suspicious person following him on Twitter. He told many lies after this.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Heartbroken, sad, shocked.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Eating less, stomach hurts, sleep has suffered on some days.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:Music, walking

What are your next steps?: I am trying to trust, but it’s hard.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?: