three hundred sixty two (362)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months

How did you learn about it?: Began noticing red flags in his behavior and caught him trying to hide his text messages. I checked his phone and discovered he was having an affair with a older female coworker.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Incredibly angry, sick to my stomach, and like I wasn’t good enough.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: They changed at first for a while, I couldn’t sleep well, and had recurring nightmares and thoughts of suicide.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I have just went into survival mode. I feel like I’m just existing sometimes without a purpose, and nothing really helps.

What are your next steps?: Reconciliation. It failed about 3 weeks post discovery and they continued their affair. I was made aware at that time by my mother in law and I attempted to leave him. I was verbally attacked and threatened by my mother in law who blamed me for his actions.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?: Disgust

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?: