two hundred eighty one (281)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 1 - 2 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: I knew something was up when he did not come home but it was not until I talked to a mutual friend that I found out he moved in with her three days after he left me. I was three months pregnant with our son and I received my engagement ring that we had just picked out while he was living with another woman. He left her and came home to me but I could never get over the pain and betrayal.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I pushed him away by always being suspicious and now he has left me for another girl this one is a little older than the last one. He has been gone about a week now.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I can’t eat and I can’t sleep either

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I am writing him letters
I guess it helps me not send him ten thousand text messages driving him even further away than he already is

What are your next steps?: I set up a counseling session for this morning

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?: Strong empowered and relieved

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I really don’t know

What else would you like to share?: I am so lost our son is only nine months old.

two hundred eighty (280)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 3 - 5 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: She posted a picture of them together on Facebook

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Numb. Betrayed. Anxious. Angry. Hurt

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: My anxiety is causing several physical problems. I can't sleep without medication and my stomach is upset constantly.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: My work schedule is long busy hours so right now I am focusing on productivity. I have talked to several friends about it.

What are your next steps?: Deciding whether to stay or leave. I think I need to seek therapy.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?: The cheating isn't what bothers me the most...it is the lying and deception. Once back from deployment (where he cheated), he introduced me her the same day I met his family for the first time at a BBQ. He also took a 4 day trip to Chicago to visit her and "end" it. His story has gaps in it and he gets upset when I ask him questions about it so I don't know how to move forward.

two hundred seventy nine (279)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: a day before the other women gave birth i was told

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Dead - numb he still accepted congratulations calls from everyone in front of me how degrading and still bragged what he could do at 40 and all that was just normal for him because i am a soft women

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Lost appetite lost many many niights of sleep i was too ashamed to get proper hellp

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I just cannot cope anymore and its been 12 years down the line

What are your next steps?: I can rather walk my next journey of life with my family and friend

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: Taken for a ride

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: walk away while you have the time when its fresh

What else would you like to share?:

two hundred seventy eight (278)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: Through someone

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I feel disrespected and neglected
When i found out I was angry but I truly wanted to fix things

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: There is a dramatic change im unable to sleep

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I drink almost every day but it’s not working

What are your next steps?: I have moved out of the house, I’ll give one more try to fix things if I fail I go for divorce

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: None

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I’m in disbelief

What else would you like to share?: It’s been over a year now but she keeps going back to cheating with the same person

two hundred seventy seven (277)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: His cell phone

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Embarrassed, disappointed, exhausted

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Yes

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Nothing

What are your next steps?: I don't know

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Devalued

What emotions are missing from the list?: Fear

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I don't knkw

What else would you like to share?:

two hundred seventy six (276)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: Every time she would put the phone on silence and answer the phone outside the house.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I am relieved now that our marriage ended..but I was so crushed because I started seeing myself as less of a man.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I started been short tampered and having anger

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I was overworking myself, beside I was praying

What are your next steps?: I have been doing counseling,,,and I am also planning to do relationship couching

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: None

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:Don't put all your hope to a human being

What else would you like to share?: Never trust a woman

two hundred seventy five (275)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: That we can't trust anyone

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I am still traumatic, since I became controller and jealous sick

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Sleeping and eating

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Praying and do things that distracted you.

What are your next steps?: Don't know till now

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Empowered, Betrayed, Devalued

What emotions are missing from the list?: No

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: To look for specialist

What else would you like to share?: If people decide to marriage must respect there partners, because been betrayed causethe the souls

two hundred seventy four (274)

Your Age: 21-30

Length of Relationship : 1 - 2 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: I kept sending him text messages and emails thinking he probably lost his phone... because I didn't think he was no longer with me so I contacted his colleague who then said I should leave him alone I don't need him that's when I learnt he knew I was trying to reach him and he didn't bother to return any of my calls,messages and emails

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: It felt unreal and extremely painfull because I did not expect him to just leave me with no explanation...and the fact that he said he would not cheat and leave me for someone else and I believed him

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I couldn't eat well at the time and I struggled to sleep

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Well I allowed myself to feel the pain and some days it felt like I was gonna die it was extremely painful and I used to read a lot self help books to try to numb the pain so.... but eventually the pain went away

What are your next steps?: I should go for therapy even though it's been two years because whenever I experience something bad in my life my mind always goes back to that moment when I was in pain.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: None

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:Allow yourself to feel the pain so that you can get to the other side and be patient with yourself the pain may take longer than you expect so love yourself and stop asking yourself questions like what did I do? If s/he left without saying goodbye then in most cases its not about you

What else would you like to share?: That it's painful and be patient with yourself

two hundred seventy two (272)

Title: I don’t know if I’ll be able to get over the cheating. Tips for clarity ?

Your Story: I am 24 and have been in a relationship with my partner for 7 years.
He told me 3 weeks ago that he had a one night stand whilst at a festival holiday with his friends. He told me he wanted to be single and can’t commit himself to me because he has never had that ‘single’ experience.
He then came back to me 10 hours later saying he’s made a big mistake. And that he wants to continue with the relationship.
We talked through Why he cheated and he said because he was unhappy in the relationship and it was so easy for him to cheat since the girl came and offered..whatever that means.
He never told me before that he was unhappy.
He went on the holiday in July. And in August had an outburst saying he’s unhappy and wanted to break off the relationship. He only told me in August he had had an affair.
I think he felt so guilty about me trying to work on the things he said made him unhappy that he admitted to the cheating.
He now says he wants to get back to how we were.
I spend a lot of time thinking about his infidelity. Thinking about if he’ll change his mind in the future and say he wants to be single again. I don’t know if I should give him another chance.
I guess it’s reassuring that he admitted to the cheating but I don’t want to stay around if he’ll feel unhappy again and instead of talking about it, revert to the same behaviour.
I want to be able to get past this and even suggested therapy to help him talk through why he keeps everything bottled up. But he doesn’t want to go. Do people really get over the cheating and come out stronger in their relationship? Why did he change his mind so quickly and decide he didn’t want to be single anymore ? How do I know he won’t change his mind again?

two hundred seventy three (273)

Your Age: 21-30

Length of Relationship : 3 - 5 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: That I always have to consider my partner's feeling and dignity in everything I do or say

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I am not in a good space, I feel like a failure , a dirty person a whore and and an evil person

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Sleeping,eating,I have lost interest in church and seeing people

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Going to work
Doing house chores

What are your next steps?: Trying to solve my problem
Respecting my partner and my self

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Sadness, Alone, Strong, Voiceless, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: Crying

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:Always Think before you act, some things are not worth it. Respect the person you love before you loose him or her forever

What else would you like to share?: Heart break is not a child's play it causes lot of health issues always think about the next person's health and dignity before making decisions that might happen. Mistakes do happen be brave enough to accept the consequences