Title: I don’t know if I’ll be able to get over the cheating. Tips for clarity ?
Your Story: I am 24 and have been in a relationship with my partner for 7 years.
He told me 3 weeks ago that he had a one night stand whilst at a festival holiday with his friends. He told me he wanted to be single and can’t commit himself to me because he has never had that ‘single’ experience.
He then came back to me 10 hours later saying he’s made a big mistake. And that he wants to continue with the relationship.
We talked through Why he cheated and he said because he was unhappy in the relationship and it was so easy for him to cheat since the girl came and offered..whatever that means.
He never told me before that he was unhappy.
He went on the holiday in July. And in August had an outburst saying he’s unhappy and wanted to break off the relationship. He only told me in August he had had an affair.
I think he felt so guilty about me trying to work on the things he said made him unhappy that he admitted to the cheating.
He now says he wants to get back to how we were.
I spend a lot of time thinking about his infidelity. Thinking about if he’ll change his mind in the future and say he wants to be single again. I don’t know if I should give him another chance.
I guess it’s reassuring that he admitted to the cheating but I don’t want to stay around if he’ll feel unhappy again and instead of talking about it, revert to the same behaviour.
I want to be able to get past this and even suggested therapy to help him talk through why he keeps everything bottled up. But he doesn’t want to go. Do people really get over the cheating and come out stronger in their relationship? Why did he change his mind so quickly and decide he didn’t want to be single anymore ? How do I know he won’t change his mind again?