Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: My siblings told me after learning from a friend that she had been seen making out with someone at a bar while I was waiting at home for her.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I still have anxiety and moments where I don't trust her. For the better part of a year, I was distraught. The weeks immediately following D-Day were pure torture. I lose twenty pounds from not eating or drinking, I became a shell of myself.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I've done over a year of therapy, gotten in better shape, changed my eating and sleeping habits, and have improved myself. Our marriage has improved significantly, but it isn't something I'll ever forget about.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:Infidelity forums, reading self-help and infidelity recovery books, having more open and honest discussion with my wife.
What are your next steps?: I will continue working on myself to fix issues I've caused in my marriage over the years (nothing excuses her cheating, but she had also told me dozens of times that year that she wanted a divorce but couldn't afford it... In turn, I stopped trying because everything I did only made things worse).
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Strong, Empowered, Voiceless, Betrayed, Replaced, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: Guilt
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: It can happen to anyone. A marriage isn't just a one and done event, you have to continue to date your spouse or they will potentially lose the spark and find it somewhere else.
What else would you like to share?: I've read that it can take 2+ years to fully recover from this, and at one year out I definitely feel better, but I know I'm not all the way there yet. I'm hoping we can learn to be safe partners for each other. But I'm honestly terrified knowing that we've only been together 14 years and potentially still have another 40 to go... how will we possibly make it without future problems?