Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)
How did you learn about it?: I initially found out by getting into his WhatsApp, he confessed but only about the pictures and messages. A few weeks later I found he had pictures of explicit acts synced to his computer that he didn’t delete.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I feel like I can’t breathe. I have 2 young kids with him and I don’t know I can get past this. I’m grieving my family being whole.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I’m not eating much, barely sleeping, on autopilot at work.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I’m seeing a counselor but it’s not really helpful. I’m listening to podcasts and listening to audiobooks. I’m having a hard time with not talking to anyone because I fear the judgement if I stay with him.
What are your next steps?: I’m sitting with this for now, I can’t make any snap decisions because of the kids. I’m the primary breadwinner so any decisions need to be well thought out.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Cornered/Forced, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: It’s ok to sit in your grief, it is an important part of the process, and you shouldn’t make any decisions on your worst day.
What else would you like to share?: The affair partner was a mom of a friend of our 6 yr old, and also a coworker of my husband. I am experiencing horrible flashbacks and triggers all the time, I feel sick but I know this will pass and I’ll be ok.