ninety-two (92)

Your Age: Under 20

Length of Relationship : Less than 1 year

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: Scrolling up the chat of course.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I just wanna lock my door and listen to sad songs all day in a blanket buritto and cry forever

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Nothing did, except joker and joji reminds me of my friend. Because she liked those two a lot

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Dough and stargaze theraphy it kinda worked but im still really extremely sad

What are your next steps?: Making new friends to fill the hole in my heart 😢

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Sadness, Alone, Betrayed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?: None, it explains pretty well..

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Dont trust people too easily, like seriously dont. Dont change your opinions of yourself to fit in, not worth it...

What else would you like to share?: It still hurts, im homeschooled so i dont have much friends. I had an internet friend named emily, i liked her environment at first but then they started calling me bad names and i didnt wanna lose them so i apologized everytime when we argued. One day i snapped and blocked everyone, they kept adding me to the group and i deleted my account, now im kinda relieved and.. alone... the thing is i loved her but. UGH IM SUCH A FOOL (cries)

ninety-one (91)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months

How did you learn about it?: Intercepted a snap chat

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I felt like a failure

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Everything went goody

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:

What are your next steps?:

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Move on

What else would you like to share?: Dont let it continue

ninety (90)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: I read the texts

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Utter anguish, fear, confusion, lost, alone

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Couldn’t eat or sleep for 5 days

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Started smoking again, soothing teas, essential oils, counseling but mostly reading and learning everything I can to heal.

What are your next steps?: Individualized counseling, forgiveness

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Strong, Empowered, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?:Confused

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Focus on you and you start feeling better

What else would you like to share?: You can fall into the pit of darkness or you can fight through all you past demons and come out the other end stronger and healthier than before. I refuse to just survive what happened but discover my true self.

eighty-nine (89)

Your Age: 51 +

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago

How did you learn about it?: My husband came clean

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I felt like dying.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Anxious

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Anti depressants

What are your next steps?: Seeing a psycologist, working on our marriage

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: Paranoid

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Be patient with the healing process. It takes long and is difficult.

What else would you like to share?: There is a good chance that there is something good instore for you both. If you are being honest with each other, you will not only find negatives, but also positives you can take from the whole ordeal.

eighty-eight (88)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)

How did you learn about it?: he told me

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I am devastated. Heartbroken. Hurt. shocked. it is surreal. still.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: no appetite. sleep sucks.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: doing a lot of reading and searching online--- which seems to make things worse.

What are your next steps?: not sure. I am

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: pissed off

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: not sure. I need advice myself.

What else would you like to share?: this is excruciating

eighty-seven (87)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: Saw the messages on his cellphone

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Hurt. Confused. Angry. Betrayed.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Cant eat or sleep

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I'm not coping

What are your next steps?: I don't know

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?: Devastated

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Don't trust anyone

What else would you like to share?: My partner and I have been together for 7 years now. He has not been working for the past 2 years. I look after him and his 2 kids from his previous marriage. We recently found out I am pregnant with his child. Yesterday i find out he had been chatting to an ex-girlfriend and never told me. I feel so hurt and don't know how to handle it.

eighty-six (86)

Your Age: 21-30

Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: I had a gut feeling and I checked his phone he texted her babe we have to talk and it was under a man names i confronted him he blamed me

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Right now I feel very hurt betrayed bitter,crazy, ashamed, embarrassed, vulnerable,

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: No eating what so ever, I have been nauseous not sleeping at all crying every minute of the day

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I have started doing anything as yet I'm trying to figure out what I should do , how do I go from here

What are your next steps?: I really dont know because I want to work on it we have no kids she has 3 kids and a husband I want to move on i keep blaming myself i lost 18 pounds i needed to lose that and I'm gonna continue venting to my friend

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Strong, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced, Relieved

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I cant give no advice because I'm looking for them.myself

What else would you like to share?: I wish I had known earlier he blamed me saying it was my fault he cheated

eighty-five (85)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : Less than 1 year

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months

How did you learn about it?: His behavior changed 180

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Still lost, he left me with a feeling that I was not
Good enough

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Eating less, sleeping more now before hardly sleeping, emotional all the time

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Therapy, working out. Still didnt work started on meds

What are your next steps?: Hoping I can accept and let go move on.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Set and keep your boundaries. Walk away when you know you should. Dont stay

What else would you like to share?:

eighty-four (84)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 21 years or more

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: The first time my husband was so wasted he let some secrets out

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: The first time I was in shock, confused, numb, emotional for several months

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: This time around again I'm not sleeping well thinking about it

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I'm already on wellbutrin so that seems to help, plus I try and distract my mind

What are your next steps?: Divorce

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced

What emotions are missing from the list?:

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Once a cheater always a cheater no matter what they say unless you have full access to all his or her accounts

What else would you like to share?: I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it and not be judged

eighty-three (83)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months

How did you learn about it?: I found an old phone and it was still connected to his messenger account. I knew something was happening or I would never have wanted to try and look at this old phone! I had seen them friend and unfriend each other on Facebook. I had met her once years earlier and instantly had a dislike for her. It was the first time both met her...my heart rejected her immediately.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I have stayed. I am happy. He’s is trying hard. I’m still worried she will be back. She popped up so many times. He’s had to block her so many ways. She even sent him a message and money through cash app! She’s even had her dad call him!!!!

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I can stay up late googling stupid stuff about different ideas on the affair all night. Or stalking her pages...her peoples pages. It’s like cutting myself everyday and I can’t stop. I make myself think about my age versus her...my looks versus her. I also think about her family and how they accept such a piece of crap daughters actions.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Books, psychiatrists, Zoloft and podcasts lots of podcasts...they stop my overthinking

What are your next steps?: Continue to repair our relationship. I can’t wait until I get a year under my belt away from her. My holidays were a disaster last year. My kids saw the worst of me. It was the worst time of my life. 

We are rebuilding day by day and setting aside old memories with a new building block.

We are completely different. My time with him and my kids is even more precious. His love for our kids more precious. I think he realized finally and I knew, we almost lost everything.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: Resilient

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Let him go. Don’t beg. Don’t try and make sense. He will come out of the fugue and you can choose to stay or leave and he will be back or trying to get back. Your husband most likely will not leave you. But it’s painful and it’s full of doubt. You will never feel the same. You will fill happy again but it will be different. It can be better in some ways too.

What else would you like to share?: It’s not the sex, it’s the secret conversations, the complete other life you are excluded from. It makes you paranoid, I literally thought they might have plans to murder me! It seems crazy now, but In the middle of the storm you are grasping at literally any storyline.

She considered him cheating when he was with me. She would quiz him if he was wearing his ring. She was nuts about him cheating on her with other women too!

She actually got his initials tattooed on her. Is that the saddest thing you have ever heard? She had no shame and still doesn’t with him. It’s a little scary but she’s left me alone and my kids except for one time she called me acting like I had called her. 

It feels so good to share this! I have told nobody.