Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 21 years or more
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: I suspected something when she made a suspicious comment 15 years ago about hanging out with a male friend. It never sat right with me, but she always denied anything. I had a nightmare in 2021 about it and i asked her after she got home from a long trip with our kids and she confessed to multiple affairs. .
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Angry, shocked, disappointed, embarrassed, humiliated. Same a I felt back then.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Yes. Had to quit work because I was getting angry and beginning aggressive with people. No patience. Insomnia, irregular eating patterns
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:Therapy, it has helped reduce my rage some, but she was diagnosed with a personality disorder that has made reconciliation more difficult.
What are your next steps?: Don't know. More therapy.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Voiceless, Betrayed, Devalued, Cornered/Forced, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: Humiliated
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Its a long haul to get better, after almost 2 years, don't know if it was worth staying.
What else would you like to share?: She had an affair with my best friend and then had a threesome with his wife. My kids soccer coach. A female coworker. An old high school friend. And a cop from Jasper Texas. She confessed to falling in love with two of them, my best friend and the cop. She almost left me for the cop, but was concerned about custody. Now, 11 years since her last one, she swears she loves me.