Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days
How did you learn about it?: Saw messages from a number I didn’t recognize pop up on my husbands phone. Did some research and found out she is a math teacher who he’s gone to at least one conference with and had known for at least 5 years.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I feel humiliated, lied to, and very very angry. For so many years I have done things to make it possible for him to go to these conferences. Mostly staying home and taking care of our senior Great Dane. We have never been able to go to one together even though he claims he wants me to. Now I maybe can see why.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I actually started taking much better care of myself.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I take an hour long Walk every day and do yoga. I also let myself cry A LOT.
What are your next steps?: I haven’t quite decided yet. I have not confronted him yet, but he told me yesterday I seemed bummed. 🤦🏻♀️ I rely on him for my lifestyle, and it would be a major change if I left him, but I also know I don’t like being lied to and made a fool.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?:
What else would you like to share?: