Title: Still stuggling 2 years later
Your Story: After getting divorced from my high school sweet heart [ a 20 year relationship with some ups but sadly more downs, and 7 years of infidelity on his part.]
The universe brought me together with an amazing human, there was an instant connection and friendship, and I finally felt seen, understood... my heart was all in , and I knew he was my forever person. Long distance was a challenge and he ended up cheating on me with my hairdresser... we broke up and I was devastated... this was supposed to be my new start filled with love, honesty & mutual respect.
Covid lock downs happened shortly after, and he contacted me to please come back, that he made a huge mistake and begged for forgiveness.
I went back, he lost his job, I moved to his city, helped look after his grandad, helped him start a business, helped with his debt - 7 months later we could afford our own apartment & moved to the beach... I was so happy, he was so happy, we were content... or so I thought. Again the carpet got pulled from under my feet... a month after moving into our new apartment he had began a sexual relationship with a girl half his age, still in collage and living at home with her parents.
The relationships lasted 1 month before I found solid evidence. They would have sex in her parents house, she knew of me, knew we lived together, knew we were in a relationship and didn't care.
When I confronted her, her response was "get over it, how was I supposed to know you were in a serious relationship".
My partner took accountability for the affair, promised to tell me the truth and break it off with her. I stayed with him, but I still feel disempowered sad stupid for trusting my heart, for trusting him.
After 2 years it still hurts and I still have betrayal trauma (and triggers)
I question do we ever really know the full truth?
How can they cheat? And still say they love you? This concept is so foreign for me.
Do we ever trully heal and why is it taking so long ?
Thank you for reading my story. It feels so liberating being vulnerable in this safe space.