Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months
How did you learn about it?: I found out on Christmas Eve. We were talking about our past present and future. It is not the first time he has cheated. He slept with a co worker a year before we were married (I found out a year after we were married- he confessed). I asked if that was the only time he had cheated and he reluctantly said no, and that he had kissed a co worker of a bar he worked at. I wondered why he had quit so abruptly.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I’m so angry and sad I don’t know what to do with myself. Im furious I’ve been made to feel the same way I did 10 years ago. I’m totally lost where to go from here.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: For the first time ever I suddenly give a dam about how I look. I hate everything I see in the mirror. I don’t want to eat, I’m comparing myself to every woman I see.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Reading female empowerment books and focusing on my career. It’s a short term fix.
What are your next steps?: I have no idea. We just bought a house we’re fixing up and we have a young son. I think my plan is basically to buy him out of his share of the house and divorce him. I know myself and I will never trust him again. I don’t see my self esteem recovering at all while he is in my life. I’ve been floored.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Anger, Sadness, Alone, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?:
What else would you like to share?: