Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days
How did you learn about it?: I was setting something up on my wife’s phone and she received a Facebook message from an ex that she was the “other woman” to before we started dating. I opened the message and found a long history of explicit messages and images.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Numb, sad, angry, confused, betrayed, hurt.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Trouble focusing due to obsessing over what I found. Also drinking and smoking more pot than usual (I know, not a healthy response).
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I see a therapist on a regular basis but as this happened days ago haven’t had a chance to discuss yet.
What are your next steps?: Talk to my therapist. Hope to get my wife to try family. I know she’s been struggling with her mental lately but that doesn’t excuse her behavior.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: Empty
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Don’t ever let your partner try to shift blame on to you.
What else would you like to share?: Help.