Your Age: 21-30
Length of Relationship : 1 - 2 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days
How did you learn about it?: He confessed when we were cuddling in bed . It was after I had noticed that he seemed really stressed so I kept on asking him if he is ok . He kept on saying he is worried about work . Eventually he confessed.
After confessing he asked me how I felt . His confession went like this :
- I have been seeing someone for 3 months
- we are not dating
But this means that IF I date her we won’t be able to see each other again.
My partner and I had been on and off however in the past 3 months we had been speaking and talking about his life decisions in terms of work and financial decisions as well as mental health.
He has also always stated that he wants to marry me .
I felt as though he was giving me an ultimatum to commit fully but at the same time I felt betrayed because he could have told me on plenty occasions.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I was in shock when I found out because the day before we had spent the whole day together and he treated me the way he normally did - telling me about how he feels etc
I felt scared that I had lost him
I felt sad that he basically lied to me
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I’ve been drinking a lot . I’m not eating as much
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Talking to my friends, praying , working
What are your next steps?: I want to speak to him about how I feel because after he told me I immediately left without airing how I felt
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced
What emotions are missing from the list?: Confusion
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: I have no idea
What else would you like to share?: