Your Age: 21-30
Length of Relationship : 1 - 2 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)
How did you learn about it?: The other woman had created a fake account online and was informing me that she had information about my boyfriend and could prove he was cheating on me. I confronted my boyfriend and he denied it. I blocked her and then she reached out to two of my best friends and sent screen recordings and pictures of my boyfriend. She took those pictures without his knowledge.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I'm not going to lie, I feel numb. There are moments of great sadness, that I feel deep in my soul. When I found out, I was finding out along with my friends. I was incredibly embarrassed and most of all angry. I've never felt that much anger in my life. I was shaking so much, I wanted to hit him and I am not a violent person. But now, I just feel like a piece of my heart is missing.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Yesterday was the first night I was able to sleep soundly
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: We are going to couple's therapy and I have been talking to my high school best friend and one of my best friends about it (one of them that learned at the same time I did). It's sorta helping, but I am not sure if it is enough. I still feel numb.
What are your next steps?: We're going to therapy, he's gone to individual therapy. He's willing to do whatever it takes to win me back. He's determined to give me all his passwords, his icloud information, everything to assure me. But I don't know if it's too little too late. If I should just cut my losses and leave...not one red flag this man has shown me. All his friends and family are shocked by this, his mom saying how out of character this is ...I truly don't know what to do.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Empowered, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced, Relieved
What emotions are missing from the list?:Disgusted
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Don't blame yourself; this is not your fault. They are dealing with some issues that they need to work on. This has nothing to do with you or your value.
What else would you like to share?: I hope my future self is thankful for whatever I decide to do... if only I can figure out what that is. I don't want to sound/look pathetic for trying to make it work. Nor do I want to regret giving our relationship another try, I simply don't know and it's driving me insane.