Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months
How did you learn about it?: I had a bad feeling, my husband was acting very differently after the recent birth of our child. I looked through his phone and found Instagram messages between him and his co worker, and saw a locked texting app he was using to talk to her.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I felt incredibly hurt and angry upon finding out. He would not show me the messages on the texting app. Has denied anything occurred besides flirting. He has now locked his phone so I have no access and he’s becoming more and more withdrawn from me, even almost a year later.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Not sleeping well. I’m binge eating and have gained weight because of it.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Alcohol and food. Neither is working.
What are your next steps?: Either a divorce or a separation. I don’t think we can reconcile.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Voiceless, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: Worthlessness.
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Leave.
What else would you like to share?: I’m really upset that I’m going through this with a one year old and he still wants to make me miserable and not work on our marriage.