Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 1 - 2 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months
How did you learn about it?: I knew something was wrong about 6 month ago when the guy I was dating casually since a year invited me to see him in his hometown. I thought we are finally getting more serious and taking the next step. Right after the trip I got messages on social media from a girl, pretending she is his girlfriend. He said she is crazy and this isnt true & I have to ignore her! I reached out to some of his friends and they confirmed that they have never heared or met this girl. At this point only they met me! I believed it & ignored it! Our relationship continued and got more serious. He showed more effort and we went on a trip together. Last day of the trip I got a message from this girl again. I confronted him & showed him, he denied it! I found out now thru his friends that he has been dating her & me the same time. But she is crazy too and claims that they are engaged and bought a place together but I know its not true! He lived a double life/relationship with her & me the same time.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Horrible, my world collapsed, I thought this will never happen to me. I consider myself as a strong independent women but it hit me harder than i thought
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: First I stopped eating now I eat because i’m frustrated! I can sleep ok because I take cbd or drink a glass of wine
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: When I’m busy at work i’m ok! I feel distracted and focus on work. In the evening and at night I feel sad & lonely
What are your next steps?: Idk I’m super confused! I never loved someone like this. My past relationships I wasnt really in love, I was more if the bad person in the past relationships. This time it is the other way around!! First when I found out & when I talked to him I was sure that this it it, that this is over but now I’m kinda confused about my feelings and i’m willing to work things out and built a future together. If this would happen to any of my friends I would tell them to dump that guy but now i’m in those shoes & I just don’t wanna end it yet. I tried to distract myself and go on dates but it actualky makes me more sad bcs the person isn’t like him! I go home and cry after a date, so I guess I shouldnt do it bcs it makes me wanna go back to him!
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Betrayed, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: I feel like i’m in the wrong movie!
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Listen to your heart but also your gut
What else would you like to share?: Don’t listen to friends or other peoples advice. I try to be quiet and focus on myself & listen to my inner voice