two hundred nine (209)

Your Age: 31-40

Length of Relationship : 3 - 5 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: This infidelity has been occurring throughout my relationship - I'd been told it had stopped about 6 months in, but have never shaken the feeling that something didn't ring true. I did the worst thing, and checked his phone, on which I found a sexual message to his ex girlfriend, that had been sent that morning.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I have spent the entire relationship feeling unloved, feeling second best, feeling like a consolation prize, comparing myself to his ex, and not feeling good enough. I am broken. I am in agony, 24/7. I feel hatred towards him and I feel hatred towards her, and I don't even know her. But I hate what she represents in my life.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I'm barely eating, I'm not sleeping i just want to cry all the time.

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I'm working hard, I spend most of my time at work, so I can distract myself.

What are your next steps?: I don't know.

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible

What emotions are missing from the list?:Frustration, unloved, unattractive.

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?: