Your Age: 21-30
Length of Relationship : 1 - 2 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months
How did you learn about it?: I went through his phone after i became suspicious. He changed, i was pregnant at the time and in my third trimester. I found texts and voice notes... He was claiming that i am his ex.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I am insecure, i know he cheated because I was no longer attractive. I gained weight and my complexion faded away. I don't trust him anymore because he did not stop after i found out. He repeated with another girl.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: A lot changed only because I had a baby.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I cry myself to sleep, every day.
What are your next steps?: I am not sure. He suggested a break, time apart to gather myself together but i can't be away from him. I just can't.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced
What emotions are missing from the list?: Worthless, neglected
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: If he cheat once and you forgive him, he will never stop. So leave, you deserve better.
What else would you like to share?: I stayed because I was pregnant when he cheated. I thought I needed him to assist me when our baby arrives. We lived together... I had to move back home because he was no longer caring for me. That was when he got a great opportunity to cheat. He claimed that he was lonely.
He started with his ex, then some girl who was a virgin and them my classmate.
I forgave him for all that... Well, i thought i did until some days ago. He disclosed something to me which I do not know how to take it, how to react to it... He told me that at the beginning of our relationship he did not love me as he does now. He was not sure that I was going to love him back so he was pretending with me. We had a child together. He said that he had to hurt me for him to know that I cared. Despite all my efforts of showing him that I care, he doubted me all because his ex hurt him.
Right now I am struggling to trust him and he has convinced me that he is in this for the long haul now and he will love me better while I am still hurting, having doubts if I should give him all of me again only for him to crush me all over again.