Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)
How did you learn about it?: I found more than 100 photos of her in his phone. He confessed everything over the following 2 weeks.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: When I found out, I had shock, terror, I was furious, hurt, devastated, broken. Now, 5 weeks out, I feel angry, sad, hurt, not trusting, hopeful, suspicious.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Not eating often, sleep was impossible for days after.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Therapy, individual and couple, havening to help with the anguish. Talking to my husband about the affair and how of affected my sense of safety, protection, trust, love.
What are your next steps?: Continue therapy, continue talking. Parent our children. Nurture our marriage.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Empowered, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Trust your gut if you feel like something is wrong. I felt “off” for the entire time that the affair was going on. Listen to your partner. If they are remorseful you will know.
What else would you like to share?: