Realtor?
My wife was a realtor. I work full time. Found out a year ago that she was having a monthly trist with a retired army sergeant. He was supposedly interested in buying properties to rent out but I think he was just looking for his next married woman.
She fell hook line and sinker. First an “innocent” lunch. Then a visit to his house where they would have sex. She would go see him one afternoon every 4-5 weeks. 2-3 hours and leave in time to pick up our daughter from school.
This went on for a year until I happened to here her phone ding signaling a message in the middle of the night. I opened her phone and read her happy birthday wish to him and saw a picture she sent him “showing him what he missed” and wanted to make sure that this would get her a rain check. I was both shocked and furious. I sat in silence contemplating what to do.
I woke her asked who he was (of course I called him by name). I could tell by the picture on his message that he was black. She didn’t deny anything. She told me who he was, where he lived, how they met, and how often she went to see him. She gave me his phone number and email address.
She insisted that it was never about trying to hurt me only to gain her self confidence. She said she was ashamed but didn’t know how to stop. She felt power in the excitement of it.
After 18 years of marriage I knew her ways and asked to see her work laptop. I knew that she would have emails and I was right. I read every one.
I attempted to make contact with him but he proved to be chicken shit and wouldn’t respond to me nor her. I even told him that I beat her ass (I never lost my cool nor laid a hand on her). I told him that just to prove to her that he didn’t care about her that he was only interested in himself.
To this day she insists that she has had no further contact and after a year of checking phone records and emails I believe her. It’s been tough but I never waivered on our marriage. We’ve had a lot of good communication and she’s answered all my questions even when she knew that the answer might hurt.
We’re closer now than we’ve ever been. Lessons were learned on both sides. She took full responsibility and never blamed me for anything. I know it was all her decision.