Your Age: 51 +
Length of Relationship : 21 years or more
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months
How did you learn about it?:
While using my 14 year olds computer. My wife's sexting kept popping up. She had a shared account with my son and didn't realize her texts, sex videos and photos were available for him to see. She had been cheating for 8 years with over 10 partners.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:
Discovering her double life and serial infidelity which included termed pregnancies. STDs, sex videos and over 10,000 sexting texts crushed me and my son. We have yet to even begin to recover.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Nothing is normal anymore.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:
Mostly friends for comfort.. The divorce is so contentious that coping is very difficult.
What are your next steps?:
Until the divorce is final I can't get her out of the home. I am forced to live with her every day.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Strong, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: Broke
What advice would you give to others in this situation?:
I can't imagine anyone else in this situation but advice is to hold them accountable and don't let them off the hook. If you do they will do it again to someone else in the future.
What else would you like to share?: You have to deal with your emotions and resist the urge to suppress them.