four hundred nine (409)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)

How did you learn about it?: Intuition told me something was wrong, installed a voice recorder in his truck, heard everything.

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Like my heat was torn out of my chest. I love him but hate him at the same time. I want to stab his eyes out but still want to make us work, but I feel like I can’t let this go

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I cry all the time, I can’t stop thinking about it

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?:We’re going to counseling, but I feel as if she is on his side. I feel like we are not talking about the affair at all

What are your next steps?: No idea. I feel like I am a shell of the person I use to be, I feel stupid and used

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Invisible, Devalued, Betrayed, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: Stupid

What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Always listen to that little voice telling you something is wrong

What else would you like to share?: Once a cheater always a cheater