Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A little while ago - 3-6 months
How did you learn about it?: I found screen shots of money transfers in his IPad and confronted him about them.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I completely dissociated when I found out. I was super upset for a week before I confronted him again and the words stuck in my head. Then I went into overdrive trying to fix my marriage.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I lost 40 pounds, I wasn’t able to sleep for a couple of months.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I began seeing a therapist specializing in betrayal trauma, who validates my feelings. I journal and am doing what I can to get my self love back to where it should be.
What are your next steps?: I have filed for divorce, I have gone as low contact as possible given that we have young children. I am going on a wellness retreat in the desert and am finally just living my life doing what I want.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Strong, Empowered, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Relieved
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Somewhere along the way you stopped thinking of yourself in such a loving way as what you truly deserve. Work on that, bring yourself back and it will not only get you through this pain, but you will get to where you know that if you met them today, you
What else would you like to share?: Don’t go back. You can’t be the marriage police, don’t put yourself through that. They will cheat again.