Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days
How did you learn about it?: My husband confessed to his infedelity after the affair was discovered- this was also around the time that he had got the sex out of his system/ it had fizzled out. he had been acting very strangely and getting very cross when asked about his sudden change in behaviour/ late nights at work/ secret messaging.
Gaslighting when challenged over change in behaviour.
He owned up to telling the other woman our marriage was not working. He said he was angry with me and used this anger to have sex with her. The only thing is he never gave me the impression our marriage was not working- on the contrary he was telling me how much he loved me, how we were good for each other, how we were coming up to anniversary, how much he appreciated me coming to his family events, just days before started the affair.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Heartbroken
Disbelief
Betrayed
Anguish
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: less eating
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: More sex with husband - is this wrong? Speaking to friends, exercise, mindfulness
What are your next steps?: Counselling
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Sadness, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible
What emotions are missing from the list?: Confused
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Dont let your cheating partner blame you for the affair
What else would you like to share?: