Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: I learned about it through text messages and his frequent business trips as well as late night interviews.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I feel indifferent now as I don't care as much about him anymore, and think that I deserve much better man than him. I also have some hatred for him and disgust of the prostitutes and mistresses he had, and I don't want to be as close to him or want to waste any more time on a man that doesn't deserve a good wife and a nice family.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: We don't sleep together anymore as it reminds me of his betrayal often when i see him in bed.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Getting away from him and becoming devoted to work again and surround myself with more capable and higher quality people helps me forget and not being overwhelmed by the hatred and disgust.
What are your next steps?: I'm perplexed as I don't love him anymore, but our kids want us to be a good family. My older son is emotionally unstable, and i think it has to do with the relationship between us. I don't want to hurt my kids, but at the same time, things will never be the same again, and I'm not committed to him anymore. Maybe I should just maintain this friendship for the sake of the kids, and see where it leads us.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced
What emotions are missing from the list?:revenge
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Focus more on improving our own appearance, intelligence, work, etc, and don't waste energy on someone who doesn't deserve you.
What else would you like to share?: After 8 years of marriage, i felt i never really know him, and i still don't, but i don't care to know more about him anymore.