Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 21 years or more
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: The girlfriend told me
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I was devastated and in complete shock when she told me and sent proof. I had no idea and would never ever have expected it. I am in a healthier place now but get tired of the constant triggers and having to renew my mind to focus on the here and now. Acceptance is the hardest part.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Most things have returned to normal, except my inner peace and free spirit smile and enjoyment of life. Some days are harder than others.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Therapy, understanding and forgiveness. It works most days. I know what I want, we are stronger than we were before, but the pain is intense. Not personalizing it and understanding the brokenness of himself at the time helps.
What are your next steps?: Keep on keeping on. Staying grateful.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Sadness, Strong, Empowered
What emotions are missing from the list?:None
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Find a good therapist. If you tried once and they weren't a good fit, keep trying till you find one that works.
What else would you like to share?: I love my husband and although I sometimes experience shame when people judge me for staying, it has taken the hugest amount of courage to face this thing. Divorce is also hard. Choose your hard!