Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)
How did you learn about it?: Its been something that i have learnt about years ago, but didnt have much proof. Something was always off and weird about the two parties as it happened to be my cousin. But later my kids had informed me about the two and they have caught them doing their thing. They are devastated. They are disgusted as its family and their father. They are broken and ao am i.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I am disgusted, devastated, angry, hurt. Been living a fake marriage most of my marriage. If i had known earlier why my marriage was in such turmoil and knowing that there is someone else he feels so strongly about. I would rather better think much of myself. Cos i know my worth. I have been wasting my energy, time and love on someone who has only been taking me for a fool and been exerting his energies on someone other than me.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I struggle sleeping, i dont eat much. Its on my mind all the time. I dont trust him one bit. Yt
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I pray and i have faith that everything will work out the way the Almighty wants it to. I handed them over to God, as He is the best person to deal with anyones affairs. I wont do justice to what He has in store for them. They have been living in sin all this time.
What are your next steps?: I dont know... I am just in disbelief. That you can be with someone whom you suppose to spend and share and build a life with. And he is busy building and wanting someone else. What have i done to deserve a suppose to be partner that thinks this little of you. But she is pregnant now from her husband, and my husband feels betrayed shame man. Although they been lying to me that they havent seen each other (omg they brilliant at lying) Anyhow. All of us will be accountable one day. One day is one day. Elke hond kry sy dag, but n vark kry a looooooong weekend.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?:Disgusted
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: The moment you see a red flag. Dont ignore it. Do something immediately. Leave its not worth the sacrifice. There are many out there that will love you, honour and you respect you like you aught to according to the Almighty. Thats the only love i ever want is someone that loves the Almighty so much and inturn love me.
What else would you like to share?: Its the saddest thing knowing that my kids know. And i have to keep their emotions in tact. Although it has disrupted them and affected them so much. The worst thing any parent can do is betray / treat /replace their mother /father with someone else. I pray that their consciousness / mindfulness will kick in and fix things with their creator and their children. I dont know what and where i will end up in all of this mess. But i have been played BIG TIME and that HURTS.