Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: The affair partners boyfriend told me on Facebook messager that he needed to talk to me. I didn’t know him. I called him. That was it. Everything was out.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Then devastated and shocked and upset. Now 18 months later I am still shocked and I feel like I’m healing. We stayed together and now I’m doubting if I made the right choice.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Yes they did. I didn’t eat for months and sleeping stopped. I lost 3 stone and had to claw my basic needs back for me. I now eat and sleep although not the same.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I talk to friends. I read a lot. I am in 12 step recovery already and that helps. I work and I focus on me and what I need. I need more of that. I have stopped some of the non negotiables in my life to save my marriage and I’m not happy with that.
What are your next steps?: More of me. More of what I want to do. More running. More writing. More time away from my husband. I feel like I don’t love him. I am not sure anymore.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Strong, Empowered, Betrayed, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: clear
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Talk to someone. Don’t do this alone.
What else would you like to share?: