Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months
How did you learn about it?: My niece told me there were rumours going around about my husband (we live in a very small town).
The next morning I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said and logged into his Facebook Messenger,and there were messages between him and the girl, dirty talking and making more plans to meet up.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I felt absolutely devastated,like my life exploded.They slept together multiple times,even after I found him out.In March this year the woman contacted him and told him she is pregnant with his child.
He and I could never have children,so this news destroyed me even more.It does seem like she is lying about the fact that it is his child,but we have to wait for paternity tests to be done after the baby is born in September.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: My stomach ulcer has started acting up again,I am grinding my teeth more than ever and I have to take sleep supplements in order to get some uninterrupted sleep
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I am not really coping.I think I have PTSD,as I have flashes of the 2 of them together that can ruin even the best mood I am in these days.
What are your next steps?: My husband and I are trying to work on our marriage and repair it.But we have the cloud of his mistresses' pregnancy hanging over us,so it feels we can't move on either way,until that is sorted out.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced
What emotions are missing from the list?: Jealous, Disgust, Envy
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Don't make any life changing decisions while you are still fresh from the hurt and betrayal.Talk as much as you can with someone who won't judge whatever decisions you do end up making.
What else would you like to share?: