Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 3 - 5 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: It was not just one time. The first time I just feel that something was wrong. I looked into his iPad and I discover everything. I forgive him. That time it was 1 year after we where already living together.
3 years later he did it again. I discover by himself. I guess the girl he was seeing him , figure it out he was still living with me. He claimed me that I had written to her and it was not true. So I said. Wait a minute. You are cheating on me. And I left him.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: Betrayed. I didn’t understand why he did it the first time. We where not in a bad relationship. We had a good sexual relationship. After that I couldn’t trust him again. It was really living in hell at the beginning. Doubting all the time. Feeling anxious. Depressed.
It took me years to not doubt all the time. And I didn’t really trust again. So when he did it again. I just couldn’t handle it. It was so hard the first time. I was devastated.
We try to get back but I couldn’t. Without trust. And he didn’t want to admit his mistake and work it out. He just wanted me to forget it and not talk about it and that I Needed to trust him again.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I couldn’t eat. Or sleep. Anxious all the time. Insecure. My self confidence just went to zero.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I went to therapy. But I cried all the time. Depressed. It took me a lot to feel better. Even now. Months later. It’s still hard. I try to go out with friends. Do exercise. But it’s really hard when I’m alone in my new home. At nights. It’s been tough.
What are your next steps?: Focus on myself. Do the things I stopped to do when I was in that relationship.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Strong, Replaced, Betrayed, Invisible
What emotions are missing from the list?: No wanting to live
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Go to therapy.
What else would you like to share?: