submission forty-three (43)

Your Age: 41-50

Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years

How long ago did the betrayal occur?: Recently - less than 30 days

How did you learn about it?: Social media

Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: 

I feel broken, flip inside out. I mostly feel everything and nothing simultaneously. I keep asking what is wrong with, why am I not enough. I feel like I cannot function while doing the simplest of tasks.

How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: 

Sleeping is difficult and when I do sleep I dream about it

What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: 

I just keep moving. If I stop my brain just clicks all the pictures in my head of him with someone else. The inner dialogue begins asking what did I do, how can I fix it? How can the person I love not care about how I feel. I tell myself keep moving and focus on anything else.

What are your next steps?:

 I don’t know that is the difficult issue. The mind tells me to end it and my heart says I love him

What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed

What emotions are missing from the list?: 

The love doesn’t just stop... failure is palpable like a persistent throb of pain you can’t shake

What advice would you give to others in this situation?:

What else would you like to share?: