Your Age: 31-40
Length of Relationship : 6 - 10 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: A while ago - 6-12 months
How did you learn about it?: He sat me down and told me.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: At first I was in shock - couldn't eat or sleep for about a month, just going through the motions to keep my kids alive, crying whenever they weren't looking. Now things are "better" but I live inside my head more than I did before the affair. I'm always thinking about it and trying to figure out how to move on. I know I haven't forgiven him yet so I'm hoping I can do that sometime soon.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: I rarely sleep through the night now, and I used to just fine. I'm less trusting of people and more suspicious of motives or lying. I feel very high maintenance when I make requests if my husband (like oh no what if I'm being so difficult that he leaves me again).
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Trying to focus more on my relationship with God. We need marriage counseling though.
What are your next steps?: Find a marriage counselor or preferably a married couple to counsel us. I'm sick of dudes telling me how I should be feeling, so I'd like a woman to be involved.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply):Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed, Cornered/Forced
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Find a really good support system. I have three really good friends I can talk about this stuff with. Everyone else in my life has been lied to by my husband so I can't really talk to them without having to hide stuff. That is exhausting.
What else would you like to share?: