Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 11 - 20 years
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: In the last few months - less than 90 days (3 months)
How did you learn about it?: She told me about it. She had been at a weekend conference where she had sex with a man she had been secretly meeting with for the last six months. She only told me because she was afraid she might had contracted an STI and didn’t want me to become infected.
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.: I was completely devastated. She had never had sex with anyone else. My whole world completely fell apart. I lost 10 lbs in about 3 weeks. I couldn’t concentrate or think clearly. We had been married for 19 years.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: Difficult to sleep. Appetite disappeared for the first two months.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: Prayer. Couples therapy. Journaling.
They have all been helpful.
What are your next steps?: We are going to stay married. I have too much invested in this relationship to leave.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Shock/Disbelif, Anger, Sadness, Alone, Afraid, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?:
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: You will survive this. What was meant for evil can turn out for good.
What else would you like to share?: