Your Age: 41-50
Length of Relationship : 21 years or more
How long ago did the betrayal occur?: It's been a while - over a year ago
How did you learn about it?: I put a small recorder in our bedroom when I knew he would not be leaving the house for the day. 5 minutes after I called him to tell him I had arrived at work ok, he called "her".
Describe how you are feeling now, or how you felt when you found out.:Surprisingly I was very calm when I first found out 6 years ago. Today I feel anger and sadness for a 20+ year relationship that looks like it may not survive.
How have your normal habits changed (eating, sleeping, etc)?: At first yes, I slept all the time, lost my appetite, lost 140 lbs, 3 jobs, and my best friend.
What are you using to cope with your emotions? Is it working for you?: I write daily, have written in my journal notebooks since the affair was discovered over 6 years ago.
What are your next steps?: Very confused at this point and not sure what my next steps will be.
What emotions have come up for you as you've been going through this? (select all that apply): Anger, Sadness, Alone, Voiceless, Replaced, Betrayed, Devalued, Invisible, Shame/Ashamed
What emotions are missing from the list?: HUMILIATION - is the biggest emotion that I have suffered
What advice would you give to others in this situation?: Take one day at a time. Whether you are reconciling or leaving do it for you and no one else!
What else would you like to share?: