Title: 3 tears
Your Story: My wife and I have been married for 12 years. In that time she has cheated 3 times. They have been emotional affairs up until the 3rd time. Back story. My wife doesn't want to share her past with anyone. Including me. She was in a long term relationship I didnt know about for 10 years.
Lastly her family forced her to move to the USA from Mexico to start over.and before she meet me she had tried to reconnect with her then ex but he never came for her.
In this all she was also here illegally.
So I meet her and we started dating. Had good chemistry and things got serious. We decided to get married and shortly after found out she was pregnant. We decided to move up our marriage and life was good.
I decided for our family to be better off we went thru the process to fix her status to be legal.
Jump forward 2 years fixed everything and she went back to Mexico for 4 month. When she came home it was hard to adjust. I didnt know why but shortly later found her messaging an old friend at 3am. She said it was an old friend and said they were just catching up.
I felt wired and later found out it was her ex and they were messaging. I hacked her accounts and found all her chats for 7 month. Most were innocent but I could tell he felt different to her as she did to him. Because I didn't know and she tried hiding her feelings this was cheat one. Second I didn’t know about until now but 2 years later we were on our 2nd child and life was rough and she reached out to him again. To reconnect or just to talk I dont know. Jump 7 years and my wives mom passed away and he wrote her to pay his respects. Within a week she started sending nude pics and a month after that I found her sleeping on the couch at 4am with her phone on and when I went to turn her phone off I found pics of Him naked and her naked. They are 1100 miles apart but sent the pics none the less.
I copied 3 weeks of chats and couldnt control my emotions. I tried letting it go but I confronted her a few days later. At this point she did not know what i knew. She denied anything physical and said they were just talking. I said I saw the pics and read some chats. She got angry and tried denying how bad it was. 3rd cheat.
Since then I found she deleted the chats from the beginning and tried deleting photos.
I found copies of some pics but chats are gone. She has opened up a bit about her past and I believe most of what she says about the situation but how do you reconcile knowing and reading that you were a mistake, she still loves other man and have talked about health issues from other spouses.
I am lost on how to trust and start over. How to love someone you know loves someone else.